why "lost nightingale"..

Nightingale is a type of songbird, which supposedly active at night. So it's kinda same with my lifestyle :p

Nightingale is also a migratory bird, which supposedly migrate in certain season/ time. And this is what i'm thinking of doing too. (though i don't have wings). But even if i have, i might still thinking too most of the time. I think the concept of doraemon's door will works better here. *rattle continues.

Lost is a term that describe my conditions most of the time. or all time. i think. I m still trying to find the "right" path or at least correct it to a "righter" one. ok, i m lost with words now.

the Footprints

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.

In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.

This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,

“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”

The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”

---

Mary Stevenson, 1936

This is one poem that struck me once years ago. It just came on the right time & place then. And it will always left a mark. Like the footprints, some memories will always be printed in my mind. And i wish that i could erase some of the memories, or even all, and restart the whole thing. This poem will always be one of the best poem i've known. Owner of the pict. attached http://liltze.blogspot.com/

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low, and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
when he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow,
You may succeed with another blow.

Success is failure turned inside out,
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit,
It's when things seem worst, that
You Must Not Quit.

- C. W. Longenecker

I've quit too many times. Just like in a game, when i feel like losing, i'll quit or restart. In life, i can't do it. I got to live with it. And then, i will rely on the thing that they say, that time heal all wounds.

The edge

"When you walk to the edge of all the light you have
and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,
you must believe that one of two things will happen:
There will be something solid for you to stand upon,
or, you will be taught how to fly" ~ Patrick Overton

Just got to search this quote, well-written, with an end that sums up everything. I wish i could have such big faith. In this past few weeks, i faced many situations which are like wake-up calls. Notice the "s". It's overwhelming. Never before in my life, i was tempted to make a move. And yet, there is this kind of "clouds of doubt" hanging over. (for some reason, my choice of words suddenly improve).

I'm supposed to write 10 resolutions for now. And it's so difficult to start. It will be another shame if i can't complete the task. And i have strong feeling, that this is gonna be difficult. Will stop writing now, to stay focus becomes difficult these days.