Believe..

Finding Christmas..

Almost lover

Numbed

Was told once that my life is pretty much like the one showed in this clip, except that I haven't got the chance to meet someone like in the clip. Yet. There were times that I felt I have met and knew the "right" one, but it didn't last.

To think again, I did have quite the same feeling showed in the clip, just it wasn't entirely the same situation. Different, but with the same "oomph" factor.

My December

Stand a little taller

Better days

Jar of hearts

A quote

11-11-11 / 11:11:11

There is this moment that everything seems to be aligned. Today, that moment came, but it was gone. Time passes really fast, and i feel that i haven't do much. In many ways, i'm left behind. If this is a race, i must be disqualified already. Hopefully i still have the chance to finish this (life) race, no matter what the position will be.

A dream in a dream

Been feeling odd lately, which resulted in a weird dream too, which happened last night. It was a dream within a dream. The feeling was like that i was relieved that i had waken from a dream, only to find out later that it was still a dream. And i get confused (even during the dream).

This has happened many times before too, but this time it was so obvious that after i finally wake up to the real "reality", i could still memorize the dreams very clear. It was kind of a nightmare, perhaps the reflection of my negative thoughts which resulted in a scary dream. The first dream was about me trying to avoid traffic polices, and found out that my name was blacklisted. Suddenly i was awake (which actually not), and i felt very relieved that it was a dream..., a while later i saw through my window, view of smokes everywhere. The smokes burst up very high, which look like pillars of smoke everywhere. There are other things too happened... I saw houses were like damaged, and without roofs. It looks like an after war scene, and at the same time i felt the temperature was getting hot (I later realize this might be because the "real" room temp was quite high and i was somehow dehydrated). Back in the dream, i thought this scene must be something like the end of the world, it felt so scary, and real. Then i awake. Thank God for real.

Fading light

Lyrics from the song:
There is a candle in every soul
Some brightly burning, some dark and cold
There is a Spirit who brings a fire
Ignites a candle and makes His home

I like the slow and calming melody in this song.  Been thinking, i am like this dark and cold candle.  So dark that i didn't even notice there is a candle.  Was chatting with a college friend today, who works in a refuge camp, and i am thinking that he is like the bright candle and lighting this world.  Unlike me, who works for financial gain, pretty much without a meaning.          

Elements of life

The road

Was reading one post in newspaper/online blog few days (or weeks) ago (i really have trouble in sense of time), and there is this latin quote that i got curious about. After googling it, i found out it was one good quote. Find the way, or if can't, then make one.

The original quote is "Aut inveniam viam aut faciam" (or "Aut viam inveniam aut faciam"), is a Latin phrase for "I shall either find a way or make one."
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inveniam_viam

I tried to google another similar quote, from renowned Taiwanese Buddhist monk, Master Sheng Yen. "If the mountain won't move, build a road around it. If the road won't turn, change your path. If you are unable to even change your path, just transform your mind."

And one last quote will apply, taken from a song lyric, God will make a way where there seems to be no way..

-

The Church, The Temple, & The Fireworks

Now this title is similar to a movie title, or a trilogy.. Maybe it will work well as title of a book too..

It was yesterday, Friday, July 1st. I think this day is an important day for two different culture and religion at once. It was the First Friday, and also some kind of a traditional Chinese "lunar celebration" (don't know the right terms in english).

I was on the road, and i was thinking of going to a mass. It was several weeks since my last mass (and i break promises again). To choose church while on the road was difficult. I get numbed by routine. I planned to go for a church in the "old chinatown" area in Jkt. It was a church that i had planned to go for sometime. But it was a plan as usual. I postpone it. And in my dictionary, postpone would mean "indefinite".

The church, named "Toasebio" or St. Maria de Fatima, was a blend of an ancient Chinese Temple, and a modern Church. The building, in a glance, would look like a temple, both interior & exterior. It was one of the ancient/ historical church in Jakarta. One that was reviewed in a book about Churches. It was historical. And i also watched it being reviewed by a local TV station not long ago. So, i get more curious to find out about this. It kinda reminded me with the "adventure" that i used to have. I missed those time.

This church is a blend that, in my opinion, will resemble to Hagia Sohpia in Istanbul. Hagia Sophia (from the Greek: Ἁγία Σοφία, "Holy Wisdom"; Latin: Sancta Sophia;) was a Cathedral, turned to be a Mosque, and now a museum. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hagia_Sophia).

Back to St. Maria de Fatima (i like this name), i was skeptical at first, that there wouldn't be any First Friday Mass held there. Because it was a small church, and i thought there won't be many people too. And i was wrong. There was a first friday mass, and when i asked before i enter, i just found out that it will start soon. (This is a "coincidence" that i always look after, and i missed this). I was there on time. It was 20-30 mins early, and was not late at all (Don't know why I am very proud about this). I got all the time to walk around the church and the linked school, and i looked like one curious tourist.

Just after the mass, we heard sounds of fireworks outside. It was not from the church. From somewhere nearby. (I was thinking, this must be something like a disneyland). The fireworks show lasted about 15 minutes, or more. In the beginning, the fireworks was kinda boring, but i was wrong. After about 5 minutes, it turned spectacular. So many people in the road stopped by to see this "sudden" fireworks. Up till now, i haven't got a clue why there was the fireworks show there. It might be a celebration from one of the temples nearby.

If i have to sum up this whole experience, i'd like to quote from a famous ads campaign. It was priceless.

Regina Spektor - The Call

Secrets

Stream of Life

I got to know this song from a really inspiring video "Where is Matt". Been wondering what language used, i dont know, the songs and lyric just feel "right" in many ways. And here i am thankful to get to know the full lyric of this song. With its english translation.


Garry Schyman - Praan Lyrics

Bhulbona ar shohojete
Shei praan e mon uthbe mete
Mrittu majhe dhaka ache
je ontohin praan

Bojre tomar baje bashi
She ki shohoj gaan
Shei shurete jagbo ami

Shei jhor jeno shoi anonde
Chittobinar taare
Shotto-shundu dosh digonto
Nachao je jhonkare!

Bojre tomar baje bashi
She ki shohoj gaan
Shei shurete jagbo ami

"Stream of Life"

The same stream of life that runs through my veins night and day
runs through the world and dances in rhythmic measures.

It is the same life that shoots in joy through the dust of the earth
in numberless blades of grass
and breaks into tumultuous waves of leaves and flowers.

It is the same life that is rocked in the ocean-cradle of birth
and of death, in ebb and in flow.

I feel my limbs are made glorious by the touch of this world of life.
And my pride is from the life-throb of ages dancing in my blood this moment.


==
Stream Of Life is a Bengali poem from Gitanjali written by Rabindranath Tagore.
Named as Praan and sung by Palbasha Siddique, it has been used as the background score for Matt Harding Dancing 2008 video. The song went on to be among the top 10 of Amazon's soundtrack downloads over a week and is also in the top 100 of all its MP3 downloads.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stream_of_Life

stay the night

the wedding

I was watching the news about the royal wedding, and there is this music clip "i could have married kate", which is interesting.

Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65g20v3PzoM. will upload this later. -> done.
"While millions celebrate the wedding of Wills and Kate, four dejected people (and one horse) think it should have been them walking down the aisle. I Could Have Married Kate tells the story of their pain and how they completely misread the signs."

So i guess not only people are jealous with the royal wedding, the horse is also jealous with other horses that were chosen to accompany the royal family.

Traffic..

I always feel that driving in Jkt is similar to challenge myself in one adrenaline game, where so many unpredictable things could happen. Mostly negative.

But this morning on my way to work (or not-so-morning), where the weather was nice, a perfect weather i think, in one narrow road (read: road with two ways lane packed with lot of vehicles, pedestrians, carts, and other things imaginable existed), i was stucked with a big truck driving in the opposite lane, leaving a really narrow passage where only motors/pedestrians could pass through. Strangely, the truck driver allows motors to went first, patiently wait for all to pass through, and i remember no horns were heard (which is weird here), where in my logical thought that time, he had enough space to keep moving forward, without creating further block. Guess not everybody is that 'kiasu' (unlike me). Good driver do exist here.

Other thing is, everybody seems to be patiently queue to pass through. This is just like in a feel-good commercial, or a happy ending film scenario (no pun intended). Then other thing is that not long after that i saw several motor, driver & passenger, seem like smiling happily toward each other (or am i hallucinating, as far as i know, i dont take any drugs or other weird things before). Or i guess i was in a so packed neighbourhood, where everybody might have already knew each other. Or maybe not.

You raise me up (Japanese version)

Was stumbled upon this song yesterday, and was determined to search & upload the video & lyric to this blog. Someone sent me this song by msn few years back. And after a while, it just feels "right" listening to it again.

Japanese lyric & English translation

Urunda hitomi no oku ni
kawaranu kimi no sugata
"doko made sekai wa tsudzuku no"
todaeta hibi no kotoba

In the depths of my tear-filled eyes,
Is your everlasting beauty.
"How far does the world go?"
Those words from our bygone days.

kogoeru arashi no yoru mo
mada minu kimi e tsudzuku
oshiete umi wataru kaze
inori wa toki wo koeru

Even on those freezing, stormy nights,
Though you are still out of sight, I continue on.
Please tell me, ocean-crossing winds,
That my prayers will pass through time.

kasunda chihei no mukou ni
nemureru hoshi no souwa
"akenai yoru wa nai yo" to
ano hi no tsumi ga warau

Beyond the misty horizons,
Stars are fabled to lie.
"Dawn will surely follow every night."
The sins of my past laughs.

furueru kimi wo dakiyose
todokanu kokuu wo aogu
kikoeru yami terasu kane
kimi eto michi wa tooku

I try to embrace you trembling with uncertainty,
But I look up at the empty sky beyond reach.
I hear the chime that illuminates darkness,
Showing me that the path to you is still far.

kogoeru arashi no yoru mo
mada minu kimi e tsudzuku
oshiete umi wataru kaze
inori wa toki wo koeru

Even on those freezing, stormy nights,
Though you are still out of sight, I continue on.
Please tell me, ocean-crossing winds,
That my prayers will pass through time.

kogoeru arashi no yoru mo
mada minu kimi e tsudzuku
oshiete umi wataru kaze
inori wa toki wo koeru

Even on those freezing, stormy nights,
Though you are still out of sight, I continue on.
Please tell me, ocean-crossing winds,
That my prayers will pass through time.

inori wa toki wo koeru

My prayers will pass through time.

Be the fireworks..